Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
