she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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