He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
