So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
