Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
