So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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