I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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