Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hippo gnu deer
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
