I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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