i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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