nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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