that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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