If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
