There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
pray to the hookup gods
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
