mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
