i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
