when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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