Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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