What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
