I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.