I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?