I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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