Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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