he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
