No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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