Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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