I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
