I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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