And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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