I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
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Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't turn off my feet"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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