You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Found the puke drawer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
