If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
