***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize