i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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