the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's never too late to be topless.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
