do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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