I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
