if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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