i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
