I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
