Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
