I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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