omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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