just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
