direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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