Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
