we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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