i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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