Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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