I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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