why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We have so much sex to catch up on
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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