They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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