Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
