just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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