Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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