sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
