Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What drink are we having for lunch?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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