There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
