real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish I only lived at night.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
