he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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